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Not so Patiently Waiting…

March 25, 2010

I have mentioned the fact that I am waiting for baby #2 before on this blog.  As we inch closer to the day we will meet our little one, the unknown gets harder.  This process has been over a year in the making and will likely stretch to almost two years when all is said and done.  The almost is the part that kills me.  I guess I have control issues, because I can’t stand not knowing – not knowing when we might travel, not knowing if we will be welcoming a boy or girl into our family.  The not knowing can paralyze you.  In so many ways, I feel like I can’t move forward in my life because of the not knowing.  Every time I make an appointment for several months out or think about changes at work or enroll my son in pre-school, I wonder how this looming event will affect it.  Will I even be in the country for that dentist’s appointment in September?  Will I be able to or want to manage a work life after #2 arrives?  Will Edward adjust alright to being out of preschool for 4-8 weeks?

As scary as the unknown is, the bubbling excitement and anticipation is exhilarating.  Each time a document gets notarized, a fee gets paid or I get fingerprinted, the reality sets in a little more.  Half a world away in Colombia, our child might already be alive.  When we began this process for the second time, I had doubts that I would be able to love another child as much as I love Edward.  I worried that we were disrupting this peaceful family unit of ours in which I was so comfortable.  Now, those doubts and worries are gone.  I am really just…anxious.

I guess working on Edward’s big boy room really cemented the idea with me.  This is really happening.  I am really going to be a mom for the second time.  I am really this blessed.

Thank you for being a part of this journey.  This blog is an outlet I didn’t have when we adopted Edward.  And it has helped more than you know to have a place to record these thoughts and feelings, and to have people to share this with.

~ Anne

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Linda permalink
    March 25, 2010 8:34 am

    I think you can’t ever imagine a baby like the first. However, God in His infinite wisdom makes that possible. It’s hard for ME to imagine you and Eric with two children, but you have done such a fabulous job with Edward that I can’t wait to see the next one who blends into your lives. God bless that baby in Columbia! hugs, mom

  2. steven permalink
    March 25, 2010 9:03 am

    All part of the masterplan

  3. sherry permalink
    March 25, 2010 9:47 am

    Sounds like you’re sweating the small stuff. All that will fall into place, trust me, but most of all, trust God. Countless times I’ve wished that Scotty could have had a brother or sister. I’m proud and excited for you that you did make the decision to adopt another child. Edward will make a great big brother!!

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